People seem to want to do everything to avoid divorce from the very beginning so they choose their partners themselves instead of letting their parents do that; they wait until they are mature enough to handle a marriage; and most of the time thinks that the addition of a child will help heal all the differences. But we all know that the problem doesn’t lie in, as to whether they have children or not. In fact children who are born in such a setup are exposed to all kinds of ills, ruining their lives forever. All such problems arise because people forget to take a hard look at the situation from the very beginning, much before the priest reads out the sacred verses.
Though the bill of divorce has not yet been legalized in the Philippines, there are lots of ways to prevent divorce from happening if ever the Senate approved it. As an individual, a family and the whole Filipino nation; we can do better to avoid divorce. Someday, most of us will get married; will want a happy and a lifelong relationship with our spouse. All of our desires are possible if we know how to follow the simple rules of being married.
YOU against Divorce
Confession of problems in your marriage is one. Ask yourselves why your relationship has failed at that point, and then openly discuss what you can do to solve your problems. Early intervention is one of the most effective strategies to preserve a marriage. It is imperative for the spouses to deal with their problems before negative attitudes become rooted in the relationship and anger builds.
Say what you really mean in order to prevent misunderstandings. This is often the problem on most women, they tend to make the other spouse guess what they want; and when the other took it wrongly, fight will start. Poor communication frequently leads to misinformation. If one of you is not sure on what the other is saying, don't be afraid to ask for clarification. Do your best to avoid anger and stress and then deal with things calmly.
Family versus Divorce
Together with your family, you can do something to prevent the possibilities of divorce between your parents and/or your spouse. You need to define the leader of your family, and that is God. The spouses must be ready to obey His leadership and live according to His principles. The family also need to establish the word of God as their guide. Working according to and living by the word of God makes it easier to know what is required of every member of the family; and it will also let everyone know God’s position on divorce.
Truthfulness and transparency is another thing that would help the family to prevent divorce. When you are honest to your spouse, he/she learns to trust you. Your spouse gets to understand that whatever you tell him/her is correct. This helps to keep the relationship intact, healthy and stronger. It is also important that each person’s role should be clearly defined from the beginning. This helps to prevent constant friction or disagreements. The lesser the frictions, the lesser the threat or possibility of separation.
Mutual respect is as important as oxygen that we breathe in. The marriage should be founded on the principle of mutual respect for each other. Each partner should make sure the rights of the next person are not intentionally violated. This also helps to reduce the incidence of grumbling and complaints. The mutual understanding among the spouses will also contribute for the preservation of marriage. Individual likes and dislikes should be made known to each other right from the beginning; these must be respected by one another to prevent conflicts from breaking out from time to time.
Communication will serve as the body’s vein where blood can pass through. The line of communication must be kept open and each person should be accessible by the other. Communication makes it easier to know when one is hurt and what to do to pacify the offended spouse. It helps to prevent little things from escalating to major problems that would eventually threaten the relationship.
The number of children too has must also be defined early enough. No partner would mount pressure when the number is reached, irrespective of the sexes of the children. This issue is easily handled if the couple decide from the beginning what they want, without anyone feeling cheated or robbed. The couple should be willing to accept whatever God gives out to them in good fate.
When these decisions are collectively made and respected, the problem of divorce would be prevented right from the beginning of the marriage. The couples would be able to live together happily and peacefully.
Christian Nation as opposed to Divorce
Aside from the Vatican City, Philippines is the last nation that does not legalize divorce. The number one reason for not allowing divorce to be passed is that, Philippines is a Christian nation that is composed of 93% Christians.
The first thing that should be done by the Filipinos to preserve marriage is to continue their sacred and Christian belief that marriage is a gift from God. The confusion about marriage that it is made on Earth rather than on heaven should not be entertained as it results to the great weakening of Christian values. The sacrament of marriage remains an institution God himself created and not subject to the notions of people. God created marriage to bless the world.
The proper understanding of marriage helps the world to have the proper understanding of God’s love. Marriage serves as a picture of God’s love. God arranged the marriage between his son, Jesus and Jesus’ bride, the church. Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her; died for the sins of his bride; and cleansed the guilt of his bride with the power of baptism. As a gratitude to what God had done for us, divorce should not prevail in our country.
The marriage covenant between husband and wife images the covenant between Christ and His church. Therefore, husbands and wives should love each other as Christ loves the church.
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